


Hope Forever Never Comes

by wykdkity



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 06:32:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18959800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wykdkity/pseuds/wykdkity
Summary: It all started with a confession...





	Hope Forever Never Comes

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Promises, Promises](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17263085) by [wykdkity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wykdkity/pseuds/wykdkity). 



Dean was content with his life-  well as content as one could be hunting monsters every day, but he had a code an understanding of how his life was and always would be. He was raised with the philosophy that you see the bad thing, you kill it and you move on to the next one. Any dreams he thought he had didn't matter there was nothing more important than saving the innocent, he had made peace with it and as long as he had Sam, John and the Impala that was all he needed. unfortunately one of the most consistent things about life is that things are always changing.

Sitting on the couch with Sammy was arguably one of his favorite things to do, no scratch that sit sitting on the couch with Sammy having a beer and watching The Three Stooges hands down his favorite thing to do to date, his whole body would relax as he listened to sound of Sam's laugh even though he was protesting against the choice to the very moment Dean put it on, but he knew they needed some down time. "shut up and watch" he had told Sam who rolled his eyes and sat down next to his brother.

 

Sam's never believed himself content, he never felt like he fit in with his family, he didn't want to be a hunter, he told himself there had to be another path and he did everything to get out, he was sure this was not the life he was meant to live he wanted better, the revenge driven career choice of his father and brother did not appeal to him, he wanted out but then Dean would get home and take his books away and force him to watch whatever he wanted.  Sam had to admit those moments made him- happy, especially when Dean pulls him to the couch and hands him a beer with whatever inevitable heart attack inducer he called food and sits dangerously close to him, no doubt it was the closeness he felt when he was with Dean that made life bearable didn't matter that he wasn't interested in watching because just hearing Dean's laughter and the the sheer joy on his face, the way he lets his guard down, something he didn't even do when he slept, always tightened his chest-- just  little bit, and for the longest time he convinced himself that feeling in his chest was guilt that he was planning on leaving.

The moments on the couch became less and less, John needed Dean for more hunts and Sam was still trying to secure his way out. they were both focused on their future and although they were both sad at the thought they were growing apart they didn't feel they had any choice but to carry on. John and Sam just seem to get along less and less every day. Dean was always in the middle- he enjoyed time alone with John and time alone with Sam but it broke his heart he couldn't bring the two people that mattered the most to him together so on the days he could get them in the same room he didn't mind playing the peace maker.

 

John not only took Dean on more hunts, he was also sending Dean on hunts by himself. one day he sent him a fairly easy case Dean saw it as the perfect time to bring Sam along as he'd been avoiding going on hunts with John, that time their dad would be half way across the country.

"come-on Sammy, it's a simple salt and burn we can hang out there for a while, it's been a while since we hunted together, don't want you getting rusty on me"

Sam wanted to reply " I don't need it, I don't intend to hunt forever" but the look of excitement on Dean's face stopped him and instead he said " fine, but only because it's be quick".

Dean took the win. he just wanted some bonding time with Sam even if its short.

The hunt was short as he promised just a simple salt and burn sure they got tossed around and got a little bruised but still fairly easy in comparison to some of their past hunts. Sam had to admit he miss that feeling of having each other's backs out on the road just the two of them, damn that guilt pang in his chest.

"See I told you it's be quick, come-on lets go get a drink"

"Dean, I have to study"

"All work and no play Sammy, when was the last time we had a drink together"

Sam rolled his eyes, he knew he wouldn't so he sighed, ran his hand through his hair gave in

"ok, fine, but I'm not staying out all night"

"if you're lucky you'll be out all night" Dean gave him a wink and walked off, Sam had no intention of hooking up with some local, but he know Dean would be trying his damnedest to make it happen.

It was like Sam had made up his mind not to have any fun, Dean did his best to pry him out of his shell without causing him to become annoyed, the more he tried though the worst he felt, he started to tell himself Sam just didn't enjoy his company anymore, he started drinking more and more, not even bothering to hit on the hot bar tender, which was out of character for him. Weirdly enough the bar tender took an interest in Sam, turned out she was bartending to out herself in college, the conversation took his attention and, although that was what he wanted, he wanted Sam to loosen up and get laid, he felt what he self diagnosed as discomfort. Luckily Dean he saw a familiar face that served as a escape, he gave Sam's arm a light squeeze and told him he'd be back.

Sam was interested in everything the bartender had to say, she was very much his type smart beautiful, resourceful, hot- but couldn't fathom why since the  moment Dean walked away he hadn't heard a word she said. It didn't help that Dean was talking to some guy he's never met before. If someone asked him he'd say the guy looked like an army reject, but he seemed pretty chummy with Dean, too chummy if you asked Sam.

"uh, can you excuse me for a minute?"

Before he knew it he was on his way over to Dean and the mystery man, the closer he got the smaller the man seem, made him feel a little better, Dean didn't see him coming he was too busy laughing  to some joke the army reject told him until he felt Sam brush up against his back. It was clear the man didn't know who he was as he began to take a defensive stance.

"Can I help you buddy?"

"No, just need to talk to my brother for a minute" Sam replied with a smirk

"Oh you must be baby brother Sammy, I'm Travis, nice to meet you"

"Its Sam, likewise, Dean?"

Sam had both hand on Dean's shoulders turning him to direct his away from Travis

"Dude what are you doing over here, that bartender was totally into you, she was digging the nerd stuff, she's like perfect for you"

"ya well I'm not looking for anything serious right now Dean"

"oh for the love of- Sam I'm not saying to marry her just have some fun, she's smart I'm sure if you give her your puppy dog eyes she won't be able to resist"

"shut up, why are you so concerned about me getting laid? I don't see you taking to anyone"

"Actually before you so rudely interrupted I was closing the deal, I was actually going to text you and tell you, you could bring your new friend back to the hotel since  I'll be staying with Travis tonight.

Sam was trying to understand the sentence Dean just said out loud, did his big brother just come out to him? Was he ever in the closet? The subject never came up, he's never seen Dean with another man before, Sam considered himself to be open minded but for the life of him couldn't wrap his mind around it. It was like Dean didn't even  realize what he'd done he didn't see the confusion on Sam's face he also didn't see the flash of hope followed by anger.

"I'm not bringing her back to the motel" -so you can come back he wanted to say but didn't.

"ok well don't wait up!" Dean smiled at him with a telling smirk. There was that tightness in his chest again, except that time there was an underlining burn the intensity of which was so much he unconsciously rubbed his chest, he felt a burn in his throat when he went to respond so he didn't, he wasn't sure how he would sound, as he turned to leave Dean called him and threw him the keys to the Impala.

Sam couldn't sleep, images of Dean and Travis plagued his mind all night, he tried to study but couldn't. He laid down on Dean's bed closed his eyes and pictured Dean crawling un-top of him, kissing him, he imagined flipping him over and undressing him, but all he saw were all the ways Travis marked Dean's body, that visuals snapped him out of it, he sat up on the bed and reached for his phone.

_"Dean come back to the hotel now hurry"_

Sam felt a bit panicked as soon as he hit send, Dean didn't reply Sam supposed he was probably already in Travis's motel bed doing god knows what. It felt like eternity but finally he heard the door bust open

"Sammy? Are you ok"

Sam was laying on his bed face down, definitely not sleeping but now that he got Dean to return he didn't know how to face him. Dean seem to think something happened to him, and why wouldn't that was Sam's intention, Dean sat on the bed and put his hand Sam's shoulder and tried the get his to turn around, he finally did, face red as a tomato Dean placed his hand on hi forehead and then his cheek- Sam leaned into the touch.

"Sam? Did something happen?"

"No"

"ok, so what was that text about, then you wouldn't pick up your phone, you scared the hell outta me man"

"it's nothing"

"ok clearly it's not nothing, did you ask what's her name back and she turn you down?"

"what?  no- I just, never mind"

"oh I mind, I was in the middle of something!"

"right, with Travis, since when were you into guys anyway?"

"oh god, is that what this is about?"

"no... its not, not what its about"

"ok, I didn't think you'd have a problem... I know I should have told you, it just never really came up"

"it never came up that you were gay? What about all the women you hook up with?"

"ok I'm not!- gay... ok maybe a little, I donnoe I don't put label on it, you know me, if I want food I eat, I wanna drink I drink and when I want to have sex I go get it, true its mostly women I've only ever been with Travis, if you have to label it to understand it- I'm bi"

" how come I've never heard of him, how could I not know this about you"

"what's the big deal if you knew this or not I'm the same person I was before you found out"

"ya I know!, it's just...how did you even meet this Travis guy?"

"I've known him for a while actually dad and I went on a hunt in Tennessee something was feeding on folks turns out it got his dad he didn't know what he was hunting but he was after the same thing we were, dad tried to get him to stop and leave it to us but he was so freaking stubborn ( a  slight smirk ghosted his lips, Sam's annoyance dialed up) , course I understood where he was coming from I would have want to get the thing too so luckily for him dad had to leave and left me to handle it, he convinced me to let him help. It was an intense couple of days. I've never even thought about another man before but after the hunt we were back in the hotel and he kissed me and-"

"OK! , I don't want the details, how old were you?"

"I was 17 at the time"

"So 5years, and there's been no one else except him?"

"I mean no, I've almost a couple times but no just Travis"

" So what you guys just meet up and fuck when you feel for it?"

"whoa Sam!, no need to be so-"

"honest?"

"no! Vulgar, Travis and I... it's not like that, we never plan to meet up it just sorta happens"

"did you sleep with him tonight?"

"...Sam, I can see this is making you uncomfortable I appreciate you trying  but you don't have to"

"thats not it-- do you love him?"

"what? No!, I donnoe ok, we enjoy each other ok, can we drop the topic now? Get some sleep?" Dean got up and walked over to the bath room he heard Sam get up of the bed, he just outside the bathroom door when he spoke

"you didn't answer my question"

Dean opened the door, he couldn't read the expression on Sam's face, he had never seen it before and it made him uneasy. Dean stepped out of the bathroom and closed the door behind him, unknowingly trapping himself in Sam's piercing gaze, but tried to push through

"which one?"

"did, you, sleep with him tonight before coming back?"

Sam had his had braced on the door trapping Dean in between him and the door, Dean was suddenly feeling like a cheating wife caught by her husband

"n-no, we were going to but then I saw the text from you and left"

"good"

And just like that Sam leaned  in and  pressed his lips to his big brother 's as soon as their lips touched he felt a jolt of electricity run through his entire body, Dean can admit he saw it coming and he let it happen, Sam's lips were soft his hands were huge on dean's cheeks and Dean couldn't help but think how long it's been since he saw Sam naked and if his fingers were  any indication then that must mean-

"we shouldn't do this" Dean pulls away startled by his train of thought, he was out of breath and his heart was racing like he just ran a marathon, he was stuck between Sam and the door no escape, Sam had somehow moved in closer pressing up against him on the door and yea he could feel his little brother's erection.

"I'm so sorry, I just, I know I shouldn't want this but I do, and I think you do too so why not?"

"why not? Sam you do realize how messed up this is right?, I mean for someone who's always chasing normal, how can you not see how far from normal this is"

"when did you start caring about being normal?"

"hm, ya that may be but this is next level fucked up, and you're my little brother and I just- we can't"

"im not "little" dean believe me" Sam said with a smirk on his face, dean's cock tingled, Sam's words definitely stirred something, but Dean was fighting hard to ignore it.

"was that a fucking cock joke?, you know what never mind, I am going to bed"

Sam still had him trapped refusing to let Dean go

"Sam move before I move you"

Dean could see the threat meant nothing to Sam but he moved out of the way anyway

Dean says nothing else, he went over to his bed with a half hard dick in his pant, praying Sam didn't feel it or see the guilt on his face, they both laid on their respective beds  in silence, he knew it would be awkward but he couldn't help himself

"So are you, you know, gay now?"

"I donnoe, that was my first time kissing a man"

 

They both started laughing, and there was a slight break to the tension until Sam decided to change that

"I guess I've always felt this way about you, I just couldn't figure out what I was feeling, I never would have thought this was the reason for the feelings I've been having, when you would hook up with random women I always chalked it up to being annoyed but earlier tonight when I saw you with Travis I realized that it was jealousy, it was just so much more provoking to me that he is a man. All I could think about on my drive back was how much I wanted to go back there and drag you back here with me, the idea that you could be in bed with him infuriated me my throat was burning so bad I couldn't speak, so I texted you and hoped you would see it. All I know is Dean I love you and I want to be with you"

Dean was silent for what felt like eternity

"just to be clear when you say be with me -"

"I want to fuck you "

Dean was not expecting the response to be so raw and forthcoming, was this really his sweet little brother talking, he couldn't quite remember if Sam's ever used that word before.

"know what I think? I think you are confused, you just found out something pretty big about me and you are trying to connects all the feeling of brotherly closeness"

"that's not it, I wish it was"

Dean was silent for a long minute watching as Sam got out of his bed and made his way to Deans'. He watched as Sam slid into the bed next to him. If dean was being honest he in the deepest depth of his mind had thought about this moment but never would let it come to light

"Dean you are so fucking beautiful, everywhere we go eyes were always on you"

Dean's face was burning from embarrassment Sam took his face into his palm gently stroking his cheek with his thumb. Dean actually looked shy, Sam kissed his forehead then his lips and Dean opened his mouth to give him access that he so happily took, he could feel Dean's arousal against his own, he slowly made his way down leaving trails of kisses he loved hearing Dean whimper under his touch, Dean tensed when he felt Sam's breath hot on his groin, before he knew it soft lips wrapped around his cock, Sam took him all the way in, then slowly pulls off sucking hard, he barely took him in five times before Dean was coming in his mouth, Dean was beyond embarrassed, it was too quick he thought Sam must be making fun of him, he pulled the pillow to cover his face and somehow the gasp of orgasm turned into a whiny sob that startled Sam so he quickly got up and pulled Dean into his chest holding him tight.

"Dean? I'm sorry"

"No don't be"  Dean said in a voice Sam could barely hear.

They laid there neither one saying another word, but Dean didn't push him away and Sam took that as a good sign, he just laid there holding his brother in his arms until sleep took over, last thoughts were him pleading to the angels that morning never comes.


End file.
